I find myself wondering why myself and my children are still living in a shelter, why this process is taking so long, and will it ever end? I’m sure that this path was meant for us, so I don’t questions God’s intentions by saying, “Why me?” or “Why us?” I just wonder if and/or when we will have gained enough wisdom from these circumstances to move on?
This morning, as I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed it struck me that I have never typed Amen as directed to do on all of those statuses and photos obviously created by God! I’m positive that God is checking His notifications to see when I do and only then will He release us from this hell that we are calling life.
Well, the above paragraph is not really what I’m thinking, it just occurred to me that I am still doing the best that I can with the tools I have available to me at this moment. Maybe I should be angry for being in this life right now, but I’m not, becaause I know that some good comes from all situations.
Through all of this some seem to be calling into question my love for my soon to be ex-husband. To them I say, “Love is not a switch, which gets flicked on and off for your own desires.” His choices, his consequences of those choices have forced me to make decisions that I wish never occured. One day, the entire story will be known, but it is not my story to tell. Do I love him? Yes, but my love for my children is far greater than my love for him.
Okay, so I’m rambling, but I’m feeling a lot of weight today and no one will ever understand the extent of that. I don’t expect anyone to, but know this, I have enough love and respect for my children and myself to listen to God and/or the universe to make the best of the lives given to my family.