Turning Ugly Around

This week we discussed goals. This isn’t really a novel concept, but it helped to open my mind to something more than past pains.

The conversation, led by Michelle, took a turn though, “What do you need to let go of to reach your goals?”

“Let go of?” I wondered, what I need to let go of to get away from past pain. Realizing the most important is to rid myself of people that are disrespectful toward me.

Slowly, I etched the pains that I needed to let go of onto small pieces of construction paper. The memories ran down my cheeks in the form of tears, I could feel the pain, and I felt it fully. The past is my foe, and it has been hurting me for years, but not nearly as much as it hurt writing them out and seeing them in living color.

“Now,” Michelle said, “I want you to tear them up. Tear them up into tiny pieces.”

I did so, with a cathartic vigor. The muscles in my body were extremely tense as I tore them up, obliterating the past pains.

Michelle led me to the blender partially filled with water, “Put the pieces in, and pick some other items to place in there with them.”

I was careful in my selection of pretties to add, first and foremost being small pieces of “angel wings.” A perfect addition to helping me through this trying moment. I also added some sparkle, I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I knew that I needed pretty in my life.

Michelle touched a button to start the motor of the blender, and my tears turned to a smile as I watched the whirring blades eat at my aching heart. And then, she asked me to pour the thick, pulpy mixture into a screen. With relaxed muscles I spread the mixture with a sponge, squeezing the water out, and watching the pretty, homemade, recycled paper emerge.

It’s true, from pain and ugly, beauty can shine past and create something new and amazing.


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